dimanche 30 novembre 2014

Fight your own battles

Fight your own battles

I went through a lot these last 8 years. Lost a lot of loved ones. Lost a lot of battles. Endured depression, sadness, chronic stress and a severe burnout. Went through different kinds of infections, illnesses, constantly. Went through psychological harassment. I was so tired of everything. 

I just wanted to make everything stop, to give up. I had so much anger, shame, guilt in my heart... 

I am not going to go into details, everybody has issues, I'll just sum it up. I lost my grandpa (mum side) when I was 14. From this day on, my dad has been angry at me and has been making my life a living hell and I have no idea why. It came to a point where one day he tried to hit me. Instead, my mum pushed him against a wall to protect me. My parents weren't getting along back then. That day, they seriously started thinking about a divorce. But didn't.
A year went on. I was dealing with fear everyday. Didn't want to be left alone at home, even less with only my dad. How does a 19 year-old girl defend herself against a +100kg tough angry guy? I was scared for my life. My safe place had become my nightmare. I had nightmare and panic attacks almost everyday but noone knew about it, I kept it hidden. And then I lost someone I considered a mother figure. I had started therapy 6 months earlier but those two following months... they just brought me back to my insecurities. So deep I had to go under medication. 
But then I started wanting to kill myself... because of the drug that was supposed to help me. I immediately stopped the antidepressant because I wasn't recognizing myself. I was loosing myself to a point I didn't even know who I was anymore. I had never been that scared in my whole life, but now I was scared of myself!
I met my ex boyfriend a month later. I was doing better since stopping the antidepressant. He helped get through it... only to dump me a few month later and trying to hit me. We had separated by then, but had stayed friends. He took away something sacred to me: friendship, trust, compassion. Love. My health. This took me back to this horrible place... again.
Weirdly, right now, I am fine. I have been fine for months. I am doing so much better on my own than I did with a doctor and a psychologist. I guess we all have a specific timing, but above all, I learnt that if you want to be stronger, you need to learn how to fight alone. I always tried to use someone to help me get up to my feet, and there is nothing wrong with that, but you also need to know how to do it on your own. I was a survivor, I went through life always carried by someone else. I thought I was doing my best, but I really wasn't. 
Instead, I had learnt to feel okay in my own desperation, in my own sadness. I was just waiting for a miracle to happen. Lemme tell you: I'm a Christian. I love my God, I love my Savior and he is the One who saved me every single time I needed to survive. But being fighter takes more than that. Being a fighter means having faith AND kicking your own butt and get things done once and for all. God is there to support you, to love you, you are the greatest thing He created, you are the apple of His eyes, His most gorgeous piece of art and His brightest star. But He isn't going to do things for you. You have to get them done by yourself. With His HELP, but if you stay there waiting for a miracle lemme tell you chances are it ain't gonna happen just like that.

My biggest miracle was the day my dad went to see my mum and apologized for everything. We still have issues, he ain't talking to me yet, but it's getting there. We are better.  And since I became a fighter I am better too.

You aren't born a fighter, you become one. And being a fighter is not a one time thing, it is a life fight. Everyday, look at yourself in the mirror and you'll see the person you need to beat today. So you keep improving, growing, changing.

Take the time you need, but don't be a survivor... BE A FIGHTER.

dimanche 11 mai 2014

The beauty of Conchita Wurst

If you are european, you probably know yesterday was the Eurovision Song Contest 2014. For those who don't know what it is, it's a huge annual contest where each country of Europe sends a contestant who sings a original song. Then each country votes, the winner gets a trophy and the winning country gets to host the next contest.

The winner of 2014 was Conchita Wurst, a singer from Austria, who interpreted a beautiful song called "Rise like a phoenix", very appropriate for the evening. But a huge polemic rose when the world discovered Conchita was a travesti with a beard. Noone believed she could win, before the contest. The whole thing took massive proportions, a few conservative countries (among them Russia) wanted to censure her song from their tv diffusion... But she kept on going and she was fabulous. And SHE WON.

Here are a few pictures of her:

I wanted to talk about her here because I believe she is absolutely gorgeous. I don't care about the beard, I think it makes her even more beautiful. She blew me away. When I watched the show, I did not know she was part of it, so when I saw her at first I was disturbed, then in complete awe. She so much more feminine and courageous than many women out there and I think this is the kind of example our youth needs. They don't need to be taught they have to be perfect and conform to beauty standards. They need to know their uniqueness is valuable and that they can express their own true beauty however they want!!! And Conchita did it so beautifully yesterday. She was stunning.

Her outer beauty is undeniable: gorgeous hair, amazing dress and I'm not even saying anything about here EYES because they make me speechless. When I watched the show I thought "The austrian girl might have a beard but she's in a better shape than me, damn!"
And I believe outer beauty is seen only if inner beauty is there and real. And she's gorgeous, lemme tell ya! First, her song, the lyrics are crazy perfect! Here the video of her stage performance:

Her speech at the end was amazing too. The whole time, she's been fighting for acceptance and freedom. Her only words when receiving the trophy were: "This night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom. You know who you are. We are unity and we are unstopable". Short and simple. Gorgeous and oh so inpiring.

We always know the contestants a few months before the contest and during that time, she's used the polemic to transmit a message, one of acceptance and tolerance. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DctcqEEKBIM

I hope you see her beauty just like I do and I hope our world is truly evolving and becoming more acceptant and free. Thank you Conchita.

Much love,

mercredi 27 novembre 2013


J'ai créé ce site grâce à mon meilleur ami Alex, fidèle au poste depuis maintenant plus de 5 ans. C'est l'"amour platonique" de ma vie (hehe), mon petit frère, mon confident, bref, je l'adore! Aujourd'hui, c'est lui qui a besoin d'aide. Alex est un comédien et metteur en scène en formation, et il monte son premier spectacle, une pièce de théâtre: l'adaptation de La Vénus d'Ille de Mérimée. Sa troupe a besoin de 3€ pour mener ce magnifique projet à terme! Un petit coup de main, juste 3€ et un message d'encouragement! Et si vous n'avez pas les moyens, regardez au moins la vidéo et faites tourner!

Merci et bien à vous,
Votre chère Sarah xxx


lundi 17 juin 2013

Nick Vujicic

I'd like to share a story with you. The story of Nick Vujicic. He is now 30 years old and was born with no arms and no legs. He has a chicken drumstick as foot! You'll understand watching the video. He loves hugs and he loves smiling. And most of all he loves you. I know, you don't believe me. I mean, he doesn't even know you, how you that be possible?! Well, I know he loves me and I love him back so much. He's the kindest and he is such an incredible inspiration.

So I decided to share his story with you because beauty isn't about your appearence. Beauty is about the inside. Noone is going to love you for your looks. They might think you are gorgeous, sexy, whatever. They may feel attracted to you. They may THINK they love you. But they don't. They love your face, your body, not YOU. But people that matter are going to love you for what you got in the inside, for what you transmot, for your beauty inside. Because you all are oh so gorgeous and beautiful and sparkly. And I love you muchly.

Here I let you with Nick's video, I know you'll enjoy it.

Share the love. Share the peace. And share his story, maybe this will save somebody's life and will give you the purpose you are looking for..!

Love you so much,

You and You - Keep it safe

Nothing to do with skin, makeup or hair but today I wanted to share a little something more personal:

One of my old "surveillant" (=supervisors?) at high school just released today his first album "Keep it safe". His artist name is You and You, but his real name is Felix Perez. The guy is amazing and is finishing his course to be a spanish teacher. I get to see him pretty often because he's doing his 1st internship where I now work as a supervisor myself! Our old school! Hope you like him, he is very talented. I will always remember him bringing his guitar to school every single day and he would play and sing for us. Great guy.

Here's his first videoclip "Bye bye"!

vendredi 15 mars 2013

MAKEUP LOOK: Bella Swan - Breaking Dawn

Twilight saga marathon: done.

My mum bought the last DVD this very thursday and we watched it eating a very unhealthy brunch full of pancakes, ham, bread, crips and so on. It was yummy. We did have strawberries and freshly squeezed blood orange juice. That was REALLY good.

Anyways, so now I am in my "twilight" mood since thursday (was that yesterday? Wow, times does fly!) so I've been playing around with my makeup and decided to go for the "Bella from Breaking Dawn" makeup look. This is not my look, I've stolen it to the awesome Pixiwoo Sam Chapman (isn't she wonderful?). You can see her tutorial HERE.

I'll just let you hanging with my pictures:

Hope you like it! It is softer than Sam's version, with a nude pink lips and no false lashes (I was just going to uni, did not needed those!). I also added a blue toned pink for blush.

Take care,


PS: Do you like the Twilight movies? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Take my makeup off? Later!

You never take your makeup off? Oh is it because when you come back from work, you just want to lay down and go to sleep? I understand... Oh no, wait! You still have to do the cooking, laundry, cleaning, feeding and so on. And THEN you can lay down. I know, I know... I've been there...
You say "oh no wait, you have forgotten to do some exercise!". Okay so now, let me tell you "No I haven't, so "oh no wait" yourself" my dear makeup addict!" Yes, you, who are regularly waaaay too busy, tired, exhausted, to take your make up off... I'm talking to you! I've been there, no judging. But do realize not doing this tinee tiny thing is just as gross as not doing your laundry, not exercising or eating in dirty plates. Welcome germs and bacterias!

This is what happens when I don't take my makeup off before showering... Gross XD

Ladies: taking your makeup off is quick, let's face it. If we don't do it, it is only because we are too lazy to get back up for 3-4 minutes and wash our face! No, no, do not tell me "but I'm so tired..!", I do not want to hear a word! After 6h of uni, 3h of transports, 1h30 of exercising, homework, revising for exams, reading the books for my course, helping with the cooking, setting the table, doing the dishwashing BY HAND, taking a quick shower... I don't want to go back to the bathroom. I just don't. But I eventually do. This is the most important step of make up. And don't tell me it doesn't feel good to have all of this off ones face ;)

The reasons it is so important:

- Heard of parabens? Acetate? isopropyl? Those are chemicals used in our daily makeup. And those ingredients are toxics. Yes, ma'am. Everyday you put on your face chemicals than are not good for you. Makeup is not just fun, it also can be toxic for you if you misuse it... I let you imagine the effects of these ingredients on your face after years of not washing it properly everyday... All the residues left behind... Ugh!

- All the makeup you have on your face goes directly... on your pillow! Gross, isn't it? And pillows and matresses are very well known for promoting the development of bacterias etc. Why do you think mite allergic people have specific pillows and matresses?

- Your skin needs to breaaaathhh! Your skin is an organ of your body. You don't believe me? Ok. Stop breathing. Do I hear a "I can't, I'll die, duh". Well you skin, which is a part of YOU (who can't stay without breathing, right?) says the same to you. Duh. ;)

- Makeup on your eyes... (I know quite a lot about that for experiencing it myself. No I am not different than you ladies, once upon a time I did not take my makeup off) It can cause irritation... illnesses such as conjunctivitis (yep, the very same one that doesn't allow you to open your eyes for hours, creates all this yucky yellow stuff, swollen your eyes and so on)... allergies... redness... wrinkles... etc

Oh and just to add to the yuckiness: where do you think the sweat of your face goes, when you wear makeup? Yes, it stay between your skin and the makeup... Yummy!

So ladies, do take your make up off and that means face, eyes, lips, neck, everything, everywhere you've applied makeup. The health of your skin is at risk otherwise and one day, you'll pay the price for it! Don't play with your outside beauty and your health, you are so beautiful..!!

Take care my dears,